We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming…errr…blog with some late-breaking news from Bagan, Myanmar: we’re engaged! We’ll get back to our normal travel blog shortly, but wanted to (joyfully!) announce our engagement and provide all the juicy details that folks have been clamoring to know (and that we want to put on paper now to ensure we don’t forget them many years from now). [Editor’s note: Today, that’s New Fiancée Editor! This post will have a few themes in it. One, the incredible level of detail, planning and thinking that Rorie put into every aspect of this proposal, which also means this post will be pretty long and detailed, and two, my complete and utter obliviousness to the entire thing. In hindsight, it’s a little embarrassing that none of this tipped me off, but in the end I’m so glad I was surprised!]
The Timing
Throughout this trip, Jess has simultaneously teased me about not “putting a ring on it” but also put zero pressure on me to propose, despite us having been together for 20+ months. This is because long before we began these travels, we talked with sincerity about how this trip was part of a gauntlet for us to really “pressure test” our relationship and its long term viability before eventually (hopefully) reaching the pinnacle of marriage. This gauntlet involved us dating and living separately for 10 months, living together for 4 months, road tripping through the U.S. for 1.5 months and travelling internationally for 1 year. We figured that each step was a new and more rigorous test of our relationship, such that we verbally reached an understanding that marriage needn’t be on the table until we had successfully finished our travels without killing each other.
So then why did I decide to propose during our travels instead of waiting until the end? Well, for a few reasons. One, our agreement above built in an element of surprise that I really wanted in my proposal. Additionally, a lot of people raised this point that we’d have a lot of amazing experiences in our travels, so any one of them could work as a “dream” proposal scenario, rather than waiting until we were back in the U.S. to do something a bit more mainstream. Finally, I figured that 4.5 months of continuous international travel in rigorous settings such as China and Myanmar was enough of a test to confirm what I knew in my heart all along: I wanted to marry Jess and that we’re meant to be together. [Editor’s note: We had talked about marriage enough times that I, like Rorie, assumed it would happen someday, but as he mentioned we had pretty explicitly talked about not getting engaged until after our world travels. That meant that we were free to joke about it all we wanted with no expectation or pressure at all…hence my complete surprise! I can’t argue with any of Rorie’s logic, but I had convinced myself completely that this was not anything to think about until “later,” which I think is why I missed every sign leading up to it.]
Okay, but then why this day, of all days, for the proposal? Well, a little known fact about Jess is that she shares a birthday with Valentine’s Day. Normally, this is a terrible thing that makes my life extremely difficult, since I have to figure out how to give each event their own credence without simply combining them (she hates that). However, in this instance it worked in my favor. I was able to schedule a super romantic activity – a hot air balloon over Bagan – that was perfect for a proposal without raising any suspicions under the pretense of us doing it for Valentine’s Day/her birthday. In addition to it providing me perfect cover – an early birthday present for Jess! – to surprise her with a super fancy hotel (with an infinity edge pool and waterfall shower) for our entire stay in Bagan (we arrived February 12th and will probably leave February 16th or 17th), so that we didn’t have to go from the high of a proposal to the low of staying in a dingy hostel. I would’ve never been able to pull it off otherwise without that excuse! [Editor’s note: This hotel is gorgeous (by far the nicest place we’ve stayed on our trip so far), and as soon as I saw it I knew it had to be a birthday present! In retrospect, Rorie really did get lucky with the circumstances on this one….]
The Location/Activity
Why Myanmar? Well, part of this was pure luck, and part of it involved actual skill. You see, when I asked for the blessing of Jess’s mom and dad (which was eagerly provided!) to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage in September 2017, I told each of them separately that I was going to ask her in a hot air balloon over Bagan. [Editor’s note: I had no idea these conversations took place, despite the four of us all staying in the same house for over a week and almost never being separated for more than a few minutes. Nice job not giving anything away, Mom and Dad!] Did I “call my shot” around 5 months in advance? Yeah, you better believe it! However, it was a bit fortuitous that I was able to sync up the activity with her birthday/Valentine’s Day. When we mapped out the optimal route to take through Asia, I lucked into the fact that our perfectly reasonable timing and trajectory put us in Myanmar in February. From there, I just had to figure out a plausible route for us to travel through the country upon our arrival on February 5th to ensure that we were in Bagan on February 14th. Not impossible, but a fair amount of luck and scheming went into it.
Proposing in a hot air balloon is objectively awesome, but what is the big deal with doing so in Myanmar? Well, in my research of the best travel activities in Asia, I came across a number of sources that said that one of most breathtaking places to go hot air ballooning is over Bagan, Myanmar. This is because the small city (town?) of Bagan has over 2,500 temples, pagodas and stupas in it, many of which are over 1000 years old. This high concentration of temples means that the view of the countryside in a hot air balloon is nothing short of truly amazing. Since it’s been on both of our bucket lists to ride in a hot air balloon, it wasn’t hard to convince Jess that we should make this one of our special/costly travel activities and to book it.
A ground level view of one of the 2,500 temples in Bagan.
Okay, but why propose in a hot air balloon instead of another activity? In some respects it is the perfect proposal activity. It’s inherently romantic, so it only adds to what is already a special moment. Given the massive time difference to the U.S., it was possible for us to do the sunrise hot air balloon ride and still get back in time to call our family/friends before they went to sleep. It wasn’t hard for me to concoct a lie in order to get the proposal on video without raising Jess’s suspicions, since I said that I liked having video of my first time scuba diving (I bought it from the dive company) and thought it’d be cool if we made our own short one of our hot air balloon ride. Finally, the hot air balloon company provides celebratory champagne after landing, which is a perfect, built-in way to celebrate becoming engaged! [Editor’s note: I really should have known something was up when he said he wanted to make a video. We’ve never done that before. This has really been a lesson in how gullible I can be when I don’t suspect anything.]
The stunning sky we enjoyed during sunrise while waiting for our balloon launch.
A single balloon with a sunrise backdrop. Romantic, right?
Multiple balloons with a sunrise backdrop = super duper romantic?
The Ring
This was its own obstacle, but it ultimately turned out well. There’s always a great debate amongst people our age about the value of the element of surprise in a proposal vs. ensuring that the gal gets the ring she wants. I was confident that I could figure out a ring that would make Jess happy, but figured it was better not to put it to chance and to instead, effectively, get her two engagement rings. The first ring – the one I proposed with – would be a sentimental ring, rife with meaning and interwoven with elements of our lives and travels together. It’ll be special, but probably will only be worn on notable occasions. The second ring – which we’ll get when we’re back in the U.S. – will be her “walk around” engagement ring, which we can design and acquire together to ensure she loves it. I’m able to provide the element of surprise and some sentimentality with the ring, while she’s able to get the exact ring she wants. Everyone wins! [Editor’s note: Rorie is selling this ring short. It’s stunning and amazing (read on for why), and even if we do replace it eventually with a more traditional or co-designed one, this is an incredible engagement ring I’m thrilled to wear for the foreseeable future, and all the more special because it comes from our travels and our lives!]
The inspiration for Jess’s ring actually struck me while we were at a random rest stop while commuting between cities in Vietnam. [Editor’s note: By “rest stop”, we mean “tourist-catering mini-mall with really nice bathrooms on the side of a highway.” These places have everything a tourist could ever want and more.] Inside, there was a jewelry section filled with “star rubies,” which is a rare type of ruby (only 3 out of every 100 rubies qualify) containing tiny fibers of rutile which produce a six pronged star when a light is shone on them. I had no idea these existed until I saw this rest stop. It was a perfect gem for the ring for Jess, since her father proposed to her mother back in the day with a star sapphire ring (a shade of blue with a beautiful white star in it). Further, of the very few places in the world where these rubies can be found, Myanmar is at the top of the list for providing the very best ones. This meant that I could propose to Jess in Myanmar with a gemstone that was FROM that country and that would provide a really touching parallel to her own mother’s engagement ring (with Jess’s being a red ruby variety, while her mother’s the blue sapphire variety – “same same, but different!” as they say in Asia). [Editor’s note: This continues my trend of complete obliviousness. We saw these gems and I even looked at them, saying things like “oh, this one is like my mom’s!” and “wow, these are so pretty!” and having absolutely no idea that Rorie was even paying attention.]
Jess modeling her new ring, with a hot air balloon and temple in the background. Love this picture!
A close up of Jess’s engagement ring and the six-pronged star you can see under the light.
Getting the ring was a whole different issue. I had to generate an excuse that would allow me to get rid of Jess for a bit, so her yoga retreat in Thailand was an ideal opportunity. This gave me a 36 hour window in Bangkok to frantically run around the city to upwards of 15-20 jewelers (only 3 of them even had star rubies, of which they only had a few of the gems – they’re super rare and a pain in the rear to find!) to try and find one with the perfect type of star ruby gemstone and have it made into a ring with my desired style/setting before I departed for my scuba certification class. Add in the fact that I had no idea what her ring size was and it was a tall task, though I managed to pull it all off. From there, I spent the next month of my travels with her engagement ring hidden in a beanie in the bottom of the t-shirt packing cube in my backpack as caught random buses, taxis, tuk tuks and flights to Bagan, Myanmar. [Editor’s note: This part of the story blows my mind. Rorie said he had some errands to run in Bangkok but I figured he’d have a ton of downtime while waiting for his bus to go to the island for his scuba class. Also, who knew they even make rings in 24 hours? Though I’ll admit it was a good hiding spot – there was no way I’d be searching through his t-shirt cube if I could avoid it. We don’t do laundry often enough for that.]
The Engagement Story
We awoke at the brutal hour of 5am in order to get ready and stumble bleary eyed out to the front of our hotel to catch a ride with six other folks to the hot air balloon launch site where pastries, coffee and light snacks were waiting for us. While Jess left the table to get some yogurt, I frantically tried to set in motion my plan by telling the group that I was planning to propose to Jess and needed their help. As mentioned, I tricked Jess by telling her it’d be fun for us to get footage of our ride to compile into a short video. I explained that during the flight I would explicitly ask one of them if they could record a video of us in the hot air balloon with Jess’s phone. However, the plan was that prior to that point I would discreetly slip my iPhone to one of them to simultaneously take pictures during the proposal. Perfect, right? We’d get all the footage we desired without tipping Jess off to what was coming! They agreed before she returned to the table and I now had six co-conspirators. [Editor’s note: I’ll blame the early hour on the fact that yet again, I noticed nothing. I also didn’t read anything into the fact that Rorie made up an excuse to bring an extra jacket with him (to wrap the ring in so I wouldn’t accidentally feel the box).]
Following our morning snack, we were led through a pre-flight safety briefing by our intrepid captain, Pete, after which point he and staff would begin inflating our hot air balloon. There were actually 21 hot air balloons taking off from our launch site, so it was very cool to watch the process as they each inflated and then took off from the ground one by one. The crazy thing is that during this process the balloon next to us actually caught on fire while they were inflating it and everyone was forced to scramble with extinguishers to put the flame out (fortunately, nobody was hurt). That was one balloon away from being us and completely thwarting my proposal! Agggggggggggghhhhhh! Fortunately, our inflation went off without a hitch and we soon ascended into the sky with no problems.
The process of inflating a hot air balloon (this was the setting for one of the balloons catching on fire).
A photo of us in the balloon prior to takeoff (she had no idea what was happening at this point).
The sun continued to rise alongside us as we went higher and higher into the sky, filling the sky with beautiful shades of red and pink while we took in the sweeping views of the countryside. It was a perfectly clear, cloudless day, so we could see for miles with absolutely optimal conditions. Pete masterfully navigated our balloon around Bagan, giving us incredible views of the temples as he identified them for us and explained a bit about each. It was truly fantastic. We snapped pictures to our heart’s content and soaked it all in until the moment of reckoning arrived. At one point the gal in the compartment next to ours gave me the look like “are you ready to do this?” and I shrugged affirmatively, thinking it was as good of a time as any to get the ball rolling.
Hot air ballooning. Pretty great stuff.
Overhead view of temples and other balloons.
A picture of us shortly before the proposal – we’ll refer to this as the calm before the storm.
I’ll spare you the blow-by-blow of the actual popping of the question since we included a video of it at the bottom of this post, but needless to say that it was an emotional, celebratory moment! Jess and I both shed some tears, the captain shook my hand, and everyone clapped and congratulated us as we floated in a daze through the surreal moment. SHE SAID YES!!!! The rest of the flight was a blur as Jess and I both struggled to wrap our minds around it all, giggling joyously to each other. We landed in a dried out river bank (it’s dry season) and made our way to a hastily constructed area where we were served celebratory champagne and swapped stories with our fellow passengers. [Editor’s note: I first began to suspect something was up when I turned to Rorie right before starting the video and said something like “do we know what we’re going to say?”, still thinking this was a few seconds of us saying how pretty the temples were. Rorie gave me a weird look and said “Yeah, I’ve got this.” Then as he began to talk about our relationship, it dawned on me that this was a larger plan. Watching the video, I can tell I’m already starting to tear up by the time he begins (awkwardly and hilariously) trying to kneel in the tiny compartment in the balloon. And as much as I was not expecting this, I had absolutely no hesitation about an enthusiastic YES! It also didn’t occur to me until hours later that everyone else in the balloon had already known and that I was literally the only one surprised by any of this. Another funny moment was when Rorie mentioned how convenient the already-planned champagne was, and the pilot said “you cheapskate!” to laughs all around. Hey, there might be a fancy ring but we’re still on a backpacker budget here!]
The PROPOSAL!
Is this thing really gonna fit on her finger?
Shock and happiness all around when the ring fit!
The newly-engaged couple (and me being handsomely rewarded for pulling off the proposal).
Afterward, we were taken back to our hotel where we got back to the room to see flower petals and towels carefully arranged on our bed spelling out “love” by the incredible hotel staff! [Editor’s note: Rorie had (yet again) made up an excuse to go to the front desk without me the night before, and on less than eight hours’ notice they happily set this up for us – so sweet!] We then called and messaged many of our closest friends and family members to eagerly share the good news with them. It was a full morning, but also the greatest morning. The love of my life, my best friend and my favorite person in the whole wide world agreed to marry me, and you won’t find a more grateful and lucky fella than me in the rest of Myanmar or anywhere else in the world. We’re excited to slowly begin discussing what our eventual wedding will look like and, more significantly, the rest of our lives together. This is the happiest and most important day of my life to date, though having Jess by my side means that there will be plenty more where that came from. [Editor’s note: Isn’t he the best? I’m so happy and so lucky to have an amazing guy like Rorie who will go above and beyond to plan out an involved proposal like this, while backpacking nonetheless! He made it so personal and so special for me in every way. I truly did not expect it and I’m thrilled and looking forward to all our amazing adventures to come, on this trip and in our lives ahead.]
Compliments of our awesome hotel staff when we returned from the balloon ride.
Check out the video of the proposal! (1:32)
